This page is for tools, perspective, and resources around loss. Any way that we may experience loss. While it is intended for LGBTQ+ individuals, there are a plethora of resources that anyone who experiences loss will benefit from. There is always hope. Each day is a chance to carry the legacy forward of those we cared about and who impacted our lives.
Key considerations After a Loss
1. Don't be Alone - Check in with a therapist, friends, or be ready with an emergency number like 988. Even if you don't think you need any of that, still let folks know. Resources and tools below. You can often request an earlier session with a therapist as well.
2. Keep Eating - Don't forget to take care of yourself. When was the last time you drank water? Ate? Check in with a friend?
3. Be Kind to Yourself - Processing loss is not predictable. Be kind to yourself as you navigate your feelings. No feeling is final, things get easier, you can get through it, and carry with you the legacy of those you care so much about.
4. Get Help - Therapy isn't just for having a problem, it's also for getting tools to make sure you're processing emotions in a healthy way.
5. Connect with People - Plan an event, even just a coffee date with a friend or family member. Find a way to feel connected with community.
2. Keep Eating - Don't forget to take care of yourself. When was the last time you drank water? Ate? Check in with a friend?
3. Be Kind to Yourself - Processing loss is not predictable. Be kind to yourself as you navigate your feelings. No feeling is final, things get easier, you can get through it, and carry with you the legacy of those you care so much about.
4. Get Help - Therapy isn't just for having a problem, it's also for getting tools to make sure you're processing emotions in a healthy way.
5. Connect with People - Plan an event, even just a coffee date with a friend or family member. Find a way to feel connected with community.
There is No Normal
Loss
There is no "right way" to feel loss, it comes to us all differently
How we feel can also shift in intensity and sometimes rapidly, or because of certain triggers. You cannot judge tomorrow based on how you're feeling today. Be kind to yourself and take each day how it comes.
Grief
Grief is not linear and can change in intensity, it is important to safety plan and be aware of prevention resources ahead of time, which are located below.
Healing
Healing is also not linear nor something we can timeline, but things over time get easier to manage. Maybe today it just sucks. Maybe we aren't ready to heal and just need to feel. Just be kind to yourself. Reach out for help, because there are people who want to help you. More professional resources below.
There is no "right way" to feel loss, it comes to us all differently
How we feel can also shift in intensity and sometimes rapidly, or because of certain triggers. You cannot judge tomorrow based on how you're feeling today. Be kind to yourself and take each day how it comes.
Grief
Grief is not linear and can change in intensity, it is important to safety plan and be aware of prevention resources ahead of time, which are located below.
Healing
Healing is also not linear nor something we can timeline, but things over time get easier to manage. Maybe today it just sucks. Maybe we aren't ready to heal and just need to feel. Just be kind to yourself. Reach out for help, because there are people who want to help you. More professional resources below.
Video Talking about Loss & Hope for Queer folks
There is Help - For you or a friend
Emergency Planning
Grief can be more intense than you expect. Even if you didn't feel as close as you think to a person or if it's been a few weeks, feelings of grief can come on quickly and intensely. Whether you are expecting it or not, it's important to plan for what to do when it feels overwhelming. Set the numbers below as contacts in your phone so it's easier to fine and call when you feel in crisis. You can also call 988/211 to ask for help how to approach a friend you feel is struggling!
Suicide Life Lines
24/7 Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 988 – call or text.
Queer Youth: Trevor Project Suicide Hotline: 1-866-488-7386 | Text Support: Text “START” to 678-678
Trans: Trans LifeLine (877) 565-8860
Grief can be more intense than you expect. Even if you didn't feel as close as you think to a person or if it's been a few weeks, feelings of grief can come on quickly and intensely. Whether you are expecting it or not, it's important to plan for what to do when it feels overwhelming. Set the numbers below as contacts in your phone so it's easier to fine and call when you feel in crisis. You can also call 988/211 to ask for help how to approach a friend you feel is struggling!
Suicide Life Lines
24/7 Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 988 – call or text.
Queer Youth: Trevor Project Suicide Hotline: 1-866-488-7386 | Text Support: Text “START” to 678-678
Trans: Trans LifeLine (877) 565-8860
General Help Lines
Non-Emergency + Support: Firstlink Help Line: Dail 2-1-1 - Text Support: Text “Zip Code” to 898-211
Non-Emergency + Support: Firstlink Help Line: Dail 2-1-1 - Text Support: Text “Zip Code” to 898-211
Postvention FAQS and Help
AFSP Resource - Surviving a Suicide Loss: Resources and Healing Guide
Harbor Health - State Resources on General Loss
Tears Grand Forks - Survivor of Suicide Loss Org
AFSP Resource - Surviving a Suicide Loss: Resources and Healing Guide
Harbor Health - State Resources on General Loss
Tears Grand Forks - Survivor of Suicide Loss Org
Free Tools
Safety Plan/Exercise: Easy Basic Safety Plan
Box Breathing/Exercise: Box Breathing for panic attacks/Calming
Mobile App Calm Harm - Free App that gives tasks to distract during panic attack/self harm waves
Safety Plan/Exercise: Easy Basic Safety Plan
Box Breathing/Exercise: Box Breathing for panic attacks/Calming
Mobile App Calm Harm - Free App that gives tasks to distract during panic attack/self harm waves
LGBTQ+ Resources
All Providers - Every affirming provider in state
All Community - All LGBTQ+ Groups and Events
Queer Art - All regional LGBTQ+ artists
Literature - Hopeful Queer Books
All Providers - Every affirming provider in state
All Community - All LGBTQ+ Groups and Events
Queer Art - All regional LGBTQ+ artists
Literature - Hopeful Queer Books
There is hope
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It's a Tough Time to be Queer
The reality is we are often just surviving in the world today. It isn't easy. It is NOT easy. But it isn't impossible. And as much bad news we hear, there is just as much good news. There is just as much community and reason to still feel hopeful. The video is the opening of the 2025 Night of Hope Event. You can explore more Hope Content on the page and the past years' videos. |
Intro Video to the Transgender Night of Hope 2025 |
Community Healing
Sometimes loss in the LGBTQ+ community can be felt throughout the whole community. This is where it can be important to have time and space to honor the person who was lost. This can be a vigil, a remembrance night, whatever makes sense to be led by the people closest to the person who passed away.
As an example, here is a page dedicated to Rynn Wilgos, a trans activist we lost in 2024.
Sometimes loss in the LGBTQ+ community can be felt throughout the whole community. This is where it can be important to have time and space to honor the person who was lost. This can be a vigil, a remembrance night, whatever makes sense to be led by the people closest to the person who passed away.
As an example, here is a page dedicated to Rynn Wilgos, a trans activist we lost in 2024.
Person Healing
There are some books recommended that can help folks focus and process their thoughts on loss. Links to Amazon, but your local library may be able to get it! Taking other suggestions!
There are some books recommended that can help folks focus and process their thoughts on loss. Links to Amazon, but your local library may be able to get it! Taking other suggestions!
- Grief is Love by Marisa Renee Lee (Intersectional in it's examination)
- Grief and Loss: Theories and Skills for the Helping Professions by Katherine Walsh (Approachable for anyone)
